A Zeelyfeely Name - by Kate Boyle

In the land of Zabberjaffa
In a Jabberwoofer wood
On a Zibadoa tree
A Kalootatami stood

(His name was Ed).

And the Kalootatami said
In a strangely buzzy voice
I’ll be your chiefly Chief
I’m the only lonely choice!

The Kaloota tribe said, Yes!
You’re our Zabbajaffa Head
You’re the onlylonely choice!
And we’ll call you.. Chiefly Ed!

Chiefly Ed? Said Ed.
I want a zeelyfeely name!
For the Head of Zabberjaffa
Deserves a certain kind of fame.

Fame? Said the Kalootatami tribe.
With a different name, you’re still the same.
And your job as wiselychiefly
Is to protect us from the Zane!

OK, said Ed.
I’ll protect you from the Zane
But if I do it really well
I want a different kind of name.

So the Kalootatami cheered
And the wiselychiefly smiled
Until his horse appeared
And he set off into the wild.

Along the road he rode
Past Zibadoa trees
Past fields of Paddywaffles
And buzzadoa bees.

And soon he saw the land of Zane
With houses made of sugarcane,
And asked a magic Zoola leaf
To take him to the Zaney Chief.

‘Tis I, said Xi.
I’m the Zaneywaney chief
Are you Kalootatami?
He asked in disbelief.

Look here! I am. I’m from the Kalootatami tribe
And I know you’ve never liked us but I must suggest you try.
We’re really very nice; we’ve been nice for many centuries
And I’d like us to be friends instead of bitter enemies.

No way! Said Xi
It’s the way it’s always been!
Your lot fights with us, and we think you are mean.

Oh! Said Ed. We’re not!
We were afraid of you!
We were always taught to fear the Zanes
It’s written in our rules.

I see, said he. Let’s change the rules!
We’ll make our people share their schools
And share their tools
And share their jewels

And never more will we be fools
Who argue over silly things. We'll see what zings the future brings!

OK, said Ed. I’m off to bed.
I’ll tell my people what you said.

Along the road he rode that night
Past Zibadoa trees
Past fields of Paddywaffles
And buzzadoa bees.

And soon he saw his friends at home
And told them they were not alone.
We feared the Zanes but we were wrong
And now we all can get along!

Hooray! Said they.
You’ve proved yourself beyond belief
You really are our favourite Chief.
We’ll paint your face and honor you
With chiefly robes and glitter glue.

We’ll give you a throne in the Paddywaffle zone,
We’ll build you a carriage and orchestrate your marriage
We’ll make you some stilts and some iridescent quilts
We’ll carry you around if the carriage breaks down…

What I'd really like, said Ed... is a zeelyfeely name.
For the Head of Zabberjaffa
Deserves a certain kind of fame.

OK! Said they.
We’ll call you…

Zabberjaffa-zibadoa-kalootatami-wiselychiefly-pan!

(A zeelyfeely name for a wiselychiefly man)